


Abandoned

by Silverfire12



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Depression, Does connect to My Angel, Fluffy Ending, Ford realizes he's an asshole, Gen, It's up to you to decide is Weirdmageddon happened, Mentions of Prostitution, Mentions of Starvation, Mentions of Therapy, Stan is not happy, This is dark stuff, You don't have to read that though., attempted suicide, mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 10:56:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5494613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverfire12/pseuds/Silverfire12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stanley Pines is tired. His family has left him and he's a failure. He deserves to die. In his mind at least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Abandoned

Stanley Pines was tired.

It had been five years since the accident. Five years since his reckless behavior destroyed the dreams of his brother. He never meant to break Stanford's machine, but that didn't seem to matter to his family. His father already had a thing against him and with his mother being busy with Shermy, it had only been a matter of time before he was shipped out. Couple that with not having any friends, him getting out of New Jersey was the only option. Especially since he couldn't see Ford again.

His hands gripped the railing tighter. 

It had been five years since he was kicked out of his house. Stanford had gotten in to his second choice in college, and if the papers were to believe, he was doing amazing. He was getting grants left and right, and he had finished college already. Stanley was floundering. He had no money, no house, and no respect. He had been chased out of many states, he had to keep changing his name, and he was tired.

The jobs he had forced to accept just to eat were....... Unmentionable. He could still remember their.... Shaking his head and shuddering, Stan looked up. "Here I am. A twenty-two year old who is wanted for prostitution, wanted by the mafia, and unwanted by their family. I really fucked my life up," Stan said as he studied the stars. A sigh escaped his lips as he dropped his head.

He hauled himself over.

He hadn't spoken to his family in five years. He had tried though. He tried so hard. Letters were sent to his family every week for his first year alone. All were sent back with 'return to sender' stamped across in red. All phone calls were left unanswered. They had completely abandoned him. He didn't blame them though. He would have abandoned himself as well. He was a failure. One who shouldn't have even existed in the first place. Ford had been the one they expected. They never planned for him.

He took one step forward.

This is what had led him to this point. No family, abandoned by his only friend, and banned from half of the U.S. Stanley Pines was done. Standing on the edge of a bridge, he looked down. He was a broken man. One who had been broken too early. He deserved it too. What kind of person ruins their entire family's future? One who should be dead, that's who. 

As he stared into the yawning abyss beneath him, he sighed. "This is it, huh?" He asked himself, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Letting go of the railing, he went to step forward before something stopped him.

"Come on Stanley.... you're stronger than this!" He yelled to himself as he grabbed the railing. "If you do this, you'll only prove them right!" Stan exclaimed as he leaned back against the railing. "You can't die until you see him!" He cried out. Turning around, he carefully maneuvered himself back over the railing and into the street

Once back over, he slammed his fist on the railing. "Damn it Stanford!" He cursed. "Why do you still have so much power over me?!" He called out to the night sky. It gave no answers, and after a minute Stan dropped his head in defeat. Pulling out an old, wrinkled picture of the two of them, he sighed. "I can't go yet. Not until I show you I didn't mean to hurt you," he said as he turned around to walk to his car. He paused as he got in, taking one last look at the edge of the bridge before closing the door and speeding off into the night.

* * *

"F-Ford?" Whimpered Stan as he searched the room in front of him. A portal had opened and his brother had disappeared. Again. Hunching over, sobs wracked Stan's body. He had lost his brother. Again. The only thing left was the journal, but that didn't help at all. He needed the other two.

"I'm sorry!" He sobbed as he collapsed to the ground and curled up in a ball, clutching Ford's glasses and journal to his chest. His brand mark throbbed as it hit the ground, but Stan didn't care. He was too far gone to register pain.

"This is all my fault!" He sobbed as mind replayed the scene over and over again. He had shoved his brother. And then sat there. He didn't try to save Ford at all. Now Ford was who knows where, and it was all Stan's fault. Of course it was. Who else's fault would it be?

"Ford's dead because of me!" He sobbed before freezing as realization hit him. "I killed him...." he whispered, his body starting to shake.

"I KILLED HIM! I KILLED MY BROTHER!" Screamed Stan as he started to sob violently. "WHY WASN'T IT ME?!" He screamed as he sobbed. Suddenly his eyes snapped open. Standing up shakily, he stumbled over to the table he had branded himself on. Like a zombie, he grabbed a large shard of glass. Shakily he lifted it up to his neck.

"I don't deserve to live...." Stan whispered as he took a deep breath and pressed the shard to his neck, a bead of blood forming at the tip of the shard. Tears streamed down his face as he closed his eyes. Just before he plunged the shard through his neck, the machine beeped. Stanley's eyes snapped open. Throwing the shard down, his head snapped up and he stared at the computer screen above him.

"What..." he whispered as random characters formed on it. After a second, the characters transformed into the letters, and then into a word. One that told Stan everything he needed to know. **ALIVE**.

"Sixer, I don't care if I have to die. I'm getting you out of there. You will not suffer for my mistakes," snarled Stan as he pounded the table, wincing as his new brand mark opened up, blood dripping down his back. He needed to care for it. Grabbing the journal and Ford's glasses, Stan headed upstairs, determination burning in his eyes.

* * *

"Well. I guess I had a good run..." Stan said as he looked out over the cliff that hid Gravity Falls. Summer was over. After this, he would never see Dipper or Mabel again. The shack was gone as well. It was dark out, much like the first time he attempted to jump. A sob escaped him as he looked out on the sleeping town.

"WHY?!" He sobbed as he collapsed to his knees. "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!" He screamed as he hit the ground with his fists. "WHY DO I HAVE TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP?!" He sobbed loudly. His brother hated him and he was loosing the one thing he was good at.

"Was I cursed?" He whispered as sobs wracked his body. "Was I just someone for the universe to play a joke on?" He whispered.

"Should I have jumped all those years ago?" Stan whispered as he stood up. Now was the time. Before anyone noticed he was gone. He couldn't let the kids see this.

Walking towards the edge, Stan turned around and closed his eyes. "This is it. Goodbye...." he whispered as he leaned back and let gravity take care of him.

"STANLEY!" Screamed a voice in front of him. Stan felt an arm grab his, stopping him from falling off the cliff.

"S-Stanley?" Came a feeble whisper from in front of him. A strong arm grabbed him around the middle and he was led back away from the edge. Once a safe distance away, the arms let go. It was then that Stan opened his eyes, but he didn't get a chance to see his savior's face however, as he was pulled into the tightest hug he had ever experienced.

"S-Stanley, why?!" Sobbed the man holding him. Stan sighed and rested his head on Ford's shoulder.

"Ford, there's nothing left for me. Nothing at all,” whispered Stan as Ford squeezed him tighter. "I've lost the shack, I'll be homeless again, I'll never see Mabel or Dipper again, and I've already caused you too much pain. I deserve it...” he whispered as tears started running down his face as well. Suddenly, Ford slapped him hard and pushed him away to arm length as he grabbed Stan's shoulders.

"DON'T EVER SAY THAT!" Yelled Ford angrily, tears streaming down his face. "YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO DIE!" He yelled as he glared at Stan. Stan chuckled bitterly.

"I ruined your future. Twice,” he said sadly. Ford sighed and wrapped him up in another hug.

"So? Yeah my future may have been different if you didn't break my machine, but I wouldn't have experienced Gravity Falls if it weren't for you!" Whispered Ford and he hugged his twin. "And you're not going to be homeless,” he said as Stan started to shake.

"W-What happened to giving you back your house?" Whispered Stan as tears started falling from his eyes.

"You are. I never said I was going to kick you out..." said Ford. Stan started to cry. "Stanley, I may be pissed that you stole my identity and reactivated the portal, but I'm NOT going to throw you out! You're my brother! I made the mistake of kicking you out once. I'm not doing that again. I love you Stanley!" That burst the damn. Stan was suddenly sobbing into his brother's shoulder, apologies flying from his mouth.

"Shh.... I've got you..... no one is going to hurt you...." whispered Ford as Stan continued to sob. He rubbed his brother's back until he had run out of tears, feeling increasingly guilty. What had he done to his brother to make him this upset? Was he really the reason his brother was going to kill himself? "Now.... are you calm enough to walk back to the shack?" He asked. Stan shook his head.

"I-I can't see the kids. Not yet,” he whispered. Ford nodded and Stan pulled away from his brother's shoulder, turning around so he was sitting next to Ford. "Heh. It looks like the first time I attempted to jump,” he whispered to himself, not intending for Ford to hear. Unfortunately, he did.

"First time? Stanley, how many times have you tried to kill yourself?" Asked Ford worriedly as he grabbed Stan's shoulders and turned him to face Ford. Stan turned his head away, not willing to meet his brother's eyes.

"I-I....." Stan started, fear welling in him. “Wanted to? Pretty much all the time after I was kicked out and before the kids got here, as for trying...” he trailed off. "Three. Three times,” he whispered after a second, defeat in his voice. "Five years after I was kicked out, right after the portal, and now," Ford felt his eyes go wide.

"Oh my god....." Ford whispered, tears welling in his eyes as the reality crashed down on him. He had caused this. He had caused his brother to want to die three times. "S-Stanley....." he whispered as he began to sob. "I'm sorry!" He wailed as he pulled Stan into another hug.

"Grunkle Stan? Great Uncle Ford?" Came a third voice from the trees. "What's wrong?" It asked.

"Dipper what are you...." came a fourth voice. It took maybe a second for Ford to feel another pair of arms wrap around him.

"K-Kids...." whispered Stan as he began to sob again. Mabel and Dipper just sat there, hugging their Grunkles with worried looks on their faces. It took a while, but eventually Stan and Ford managed to collect themselves.

"What are you doing here?" Asked Ford shakily, sensing that his brother didn't want to talk.

"Uh-uh!" Said Mabel sternly, her arms crossed. "We're not answering you until you tell us what's going on!" She said, Dipper nodding in agreement. Ford sighed, glancing at Stan, he saw a slight nod. Pulling him close with one arm and letting him rest on his shoulder, Ford looked at the kids.

"D-do you guys know what suicide is?" Ford asked quietly. From the horrified looks on their faces, they knew exactly what it was.

"N-no.... Grunkle Ford why?!" Cried Dipper as he leapt at Ford, tears in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around his Grunkle, Mabel a second behind. Ford felt Stan chuckle bitterly on his shoulder.

"Not him,” whispered Stan. The twins paused, confused for a second before pure terror morphed onto their faces.

"G-Grunkle Stan?" Whispered Mabel as tears started streaming down her face. "WHY?!" She sobbed as she threw herself at Stan, hugging him with all her might. Dipper didn't move. He looked shell shocked.

"Kids...." Stan whispered as he lifted his head off of Ford's shoulder. "I omitted a lot in my story,” he admitted, causing Ford to look at him. "I.... I haven't been happy since I was kicked out," he whispered before shuddering. "I've done things I'm not proud of just so I could eat. I couldn't count how many times I went to bed hungry. I've tried to kill myself three times. I've almost died more times than I can count. The only things that have made me happy are going to yanked away from me. There is nothing left for me. My life has been failure after failure,” he whispered, tears falling down his face. "I've been abandoned," he whispered. Suddenly, he felt Dipper wrap himself around his middle and Ford started apologizing, tears running down his face. The four of them stayed like that for a while, Stan stuck in the middle of the hug. Suddenly Ford pulled away.

"Stanley, we are going back to the house and you're going to let me help with the Mystery Shack,” he said firmly, causing Stan to look up in shock. "After that, I'm getting you help. I won’t let you go though this again.” Stan started to cry.

* * *

The next day, the twins were sent back to Piedmont. They woke up before their Grunkles and snuck into Stan's room to find Ford wrapped around his brother protectively. Stan was curled up against Ford as well, the two of them holding each other like they would disappear. Mabel decided that they needed time to themselves, so she and Dipper started on breakfast. They ended up setting off the fire alarm, causing the older twins to flip. It was quite funny actually, seeing Stan come running out of his bedroom screaming about the cops finally finding him and Ford shooting the stove. Once everyone had calmed down, the younger twins grabbed their stuff (and Waddles) and headed off to Greasy's Diner.

"Are you sure you don't want us to stay?" Asked Mabel as the bus pulled up. Stan shook his head.

"I'm not going to let him out of my sight," said Ford firmly. Mabel nodded and hugged Stan, Dipper copying her.

"We love you Grunkle Stan. You have our cell numbers, don't be afraid to call,” she said as she buried her face into his stomach.

"Call at any time. I don't care if I'm in school or it's three A.M." Said Dipper as he hugged his Grunkle. Stan sighed.

"Thanks kids,” he said softly. The bus driver honked, obviously annoyed with how long it was taking. Pulling away, Mabel grabbed her stuff and stepped into the bus, heading towards the back. Once she was gone, Dipper looked at Ford and glared.

"If I find out he's gone because of you, I will find a way to bring Bill back," he hissed before going to meet his sister. Ford nodded solemnly. Waving as the bus pulled away, he looked at Stan.

"Well Mr. Mystery, let's not keep the suckers waiting!" He said happily. Stan smiled and nodded. Grabbing Ford's hand, the two brothers walked back to the shack together, ready to start a new life.

**Author's Note:**

> This stems for a headcannon I have that Stan is depressed. Undiagnosed of course. I had to write this. I wouldn't be able to write fluff if I didn't. If you've read My Angel, this is the talk mentioned in chapter one.


End file.
